Category: Blog

Aphrodite is very proud to partner with Lynn-dee van Rensburg, Aphrodite’s resident sex coach who helps our clients with their sexual and relationship life so that they can heal their sexuality, fill in gaps in their sexuality education, and be more powerful as a sexual being.

“When I tell someone that I am a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?”

“Sex coaching has been sensationalized and even poked fun at because there is not a clear understanding of what sex coaches do. I think that is because of a couple things”.

Sex coaching is relatively new so many people have no baseline of information about it.
People are really hung up about sex and don’t realize that we actually need to study, learn and be guided in order to be the best lovers and the happiest sexual people we can be.
My aim to deal with sex head-on without any blame, shame, or negative judgment so that clients can talk about the things that are hard to talk about and get out of shame and into pleasure and fulfilment. I work with people who are single and with people in relationships. I work with both!

I Want to be Notified.
There are many kinds of sex coaches. What I do is unique, and I use a system for coaching that I have developed organically out of the work that I have done with people for years. There are some things that every person who wants to work on their sexuality in a serious way will have to do to grow.

In general, sex coaches act as educators as part of our work because most people have had sub-par sex education. People need to learn the stuff no one ever taught them about sex from someone who knows about sex and is not going to pontificate about what they should and should not be doing. That is the job of a priest, not a sex coach!

My Sex coaching is different from therapy because it is not focused on healing past wounds as much as it is about creating your life in the present. My sex coaching can be therapeutic, yet it addresses your specific concerns in a powerful way that can transform your life.

I take a holistic approach to sexuality in my coaching practice. I work with essential steps to a sexually empowered life because I know that sex operates in the context of one’s life, and that context must be worked on—not just what happens with the sex act itself.

For this reason, my work also encompasses the relationships you choose to have, your emotional patterns that get in the way, your feelings about your body, the way you deal with sexual shame, and much more. I know my work is very powerful and creates lasting transformation in my client’s lives. I absolutely love helping EVERYONE to transform how they approach sex, how they love their bodies, how they develop and fulfil desire, how they shift frustrating patterns, and how they have the deeper intimacy and pleasurable relationships they so deserve. It is an absolute honour to midwife people through a process of coming home to the self and honouring their own deepest desires.

I think that everyone needs help with their sexuality at some point in their life. Most people will not actually seek out support. Will you be the one who will prioritize your sexuality and develop your sexual life? Or will you let it quietly fade away, or leave it alone in its shame to eat away at itself? The choice is yours, and now that you know there are options for you to develop your sexuality, I hope you will accept one…or two or three!

For more pleasure fun:
https://www.myaphrodite.co.za/

How did I became become a sex and love coach? Let’s start at the beginning.. I was born into a conservative Christian family and the Bible was interpreted and used to consider all aspects of life.

There was a definite no in respect of most of the sexual behavioral demands, I had. I did however had a wonderful childhood and was always cheerful and full of hope and energy. I was a teenager during the early 2000s and was already subject to a more liberal world.

My parents taught me to wait for my Christian husband and to only have my first intimate relationship with such a person. I did however lived in a already different world that my parents were used to and had sexual relationships as a young adult with different partners.

I enjoyed my sexual side despite the guilt brought to myself and noticed that this side of mine had wonderful potential and power. With my background this caused shame and trauma. I thought I was doomed and that I am now a slut and that I will never see the gates of Heaven! I gradually disconnected from my sexual side because of this guilt I connected to my sexual pleasure.

As a young adult, I had little success with my relationships and came to the conclusion that relationships will only last 6 months. At 24, I met my husband with whom I am now married for 11 years. He was a few years older than I was and had the patients to give me room where I needed it. This said, it still was not an easy journey. I consider this journey very important for me to reach this point in my life.

Similar to my previous relationships, the intimacy side lost its juiciness and excitement within the first few months. I felt that it was a duty and that he just wanted a dream wife and a simple sexual routine.

I could clearly read or feel energy and felt that it was not nourishing nor sacred. Our relationship suffered tremendously and even caused more trauma and disappointment with failed expectations and definitely not close to my hopes and dreams!

I went to search for a solution.. In my culture and even under the influence of the US and Europe cultures, I was unable to get an answer.

I was not interested in what the pornography industry and the mass social media, had to offer ! I came to the conclusion that I cannot be one of the normal human beings that have a certain amount of sexual encounters on a weekly basis.

My soul was desperately searching for something different and I ended up with more confusion and even more questions without answers! My soul was still searching for that special thing. I thought, well I did investigate all the avenues known to me so I ventured into the unknown. We all have heard of the kamasutra and I went investigating the Eastern side of this world of intimacy.

I started my journey on Google and found this magic word – tantra. I got hold of an American expert with appropriate courses and immediately register for the sex and relationship course that runs over a period of two years. This include a major in tantra sexuality. I now started to study and went searching for the root of my unhappiness.

I discovered very high walls that I build and I knew I had to embrace them and this was the moment I realised that sex is my source of healing and nourishment. In order to achieve this sexual bliss in your life, there are a few very important things you will need to allow in your life. You need to understand that it is mostly the quality of the moment that counts and that all expectations need be questioned.

You need to show up for yourself and you need to practice self pleasure exercises that will open a new world off possibilities as your exploration progresses. How can you, for example expect someone else to achieve miracles.

I aim to teach ladies this power that will lead to their wholeness that is available to all of us right inside of us without you having to go to look for wisdom on the outside.

Our bodies are wise and are capable of unlocking moments you won’t imagine. Tantra take time and is for sure not a quick fix. It takes discipline, consistency and an ability to really love yourself even if it hurts when you show up!

A woman needs a man like a fish needs water…⁣
Harm of this model is woman become the slave of man and pleasure became the tool of release….⁣
⁣
Real pleasure means where your soul satisfied and you get orgasm from your soul and it reflect on your body.⁣
⁣
In these system male has become the center of the sex and his satisfaction become the orgasm of the both…⁣
⁣
That has created the fake orgasms and created the vacuum of unsatisfied feminine.⁣
⁣
This doom woman and unsatisfied of dorm room sexual story that is there. ⁣
⁣
And unsatisfied feminine can’t give birth to healthy society as the new coming world is taking birth from her womb…⁣
⁣
Cherish woman and I also teach exercises that can be done instead of what we not be taught. ⁣
⁣
India tantras had taught us this freedom and tantra wisdom taught us that the vagina was cherished by men and that was their prior goal. ⁣
⁣
The cherishing of the vagina was the first step of their sex practice …⁣
⁣
Gentle touch to massage of her ….⁣
They were talking and worshiping the vagina and make feel her alive …⁣
⁣
It is joyful play. Sexuality path to divine. ⁣
⁣
Vagina is seed of divine. The Fluid is believed to link with heavens….⁣
⁣
Woman is life-giving. The penis is to satisfied their . Fully satisfaction her. Woman is invited to love the slowness.⁣
⁣
Expressing through sounds one of key elements. Woman sexuality was Compared to water. Long slow play. Sucking her breast they says this link to a man spinal cord. Your first duty is the for gate to open up( vagina). It is about giving and receiving and nourishing to your spirit.⁣

We sometimes have to look at our journey to see how we were “coming” all along. Did we withdrawn sexual pleasure from our lifes?
Here are some of the things that we as human love using as excuses:

-this is just another form of work,
-o my God I don’t have enough time,
– how can I be interested in such a waist of time,
– sex is just not something I like doing,
– this has past in my life,
-sex is such a sinful thing, I should be ashamed of myself.
These are some of the things we tell ourselves over and over again preventing us from breaking free from our old habits / patterns.

Consider mindful masturbation’s and rewrite your story. Let us reclaim our pleasure

My husband is showering me with love. I am desperately in need of love now but is unable to surrender and receive any love because of the pressure I am experiencing to just stay as I always do.

Although he wants to embrace me in love I still hesitate and still resist all he is offering.

Let us look at my past – I grew up not wanting love because of hurt that always accompanied and now faced with love from my husband and having to embrace it. I must let go of my old ways and therefore prevent myself from repeating my old unhealthy tune.

Why do I keep telling myself that I do not deserve pleasure and continue feeling guilty when I should feel sexy? I need to re write my story for once and forever.

Love is holy and sacred and does allow pleasure in my live.
My new story then: Love without limits or any conditions. Love contains all flavours in one moment.
Expressing and experiencing love is what life is all about. You deserve to have pleasure in your life.

My mantra for the week is – FUN, Joyfulness and a YES for all the good things love has to offer..

What is yours?

Is this impossible for us and becoming our worst desease?
We don’t allow us this basic human need and pursued ourselves that an increase in everything will create success and peace.

It is very important to surrender to your natural flow without any pressure whatsoever when you are going to make love. Only then will you become aware of all your thoughts,emotions and all your awesome senses.

Burn the to do list for just once in your life and smell the arromas of life and celebrate the awesome being you are and becoming….

Please prioritize to slow down. A very effective tool to help achieve this is to become aware of your breath and to start breathing deeply.
SLOW DOWN

This is a topic so little talked about and yet so needed. Many relationships start with a hot sexual bang that truly amazing. But then a old pattern that originates unconsciously suddenly returns. The other person becomes unsexy, smelly,irritating and anything but a suitable sexual partner.

At this moment it is time to realise that old patterns of resistance returned and that your partner is exactly the same person you used to enjoy.

Your sexual activities is a medicine and a source of creation. In my experience the resistance was actually my coping mechanism for same things that happened when I was a child.

My nervous system learned to withdrawn from intimacy when someone really loves me. Since I recognize this my healing started and am I on this journey learning and healing everyday.

Let’s talk about emotions

For many years wait my entire life I was living on my emotions. Nobody educated me that we emotional mature if we take responsibility for our emotions.

Growing up I didnt have any role models showing me this. Also society/culture has this thing of staying happy all the time.

Just like seasons in nature our emotions is the same. (Society learn us to stay in summer). I read a beautiful book where it mentioned emotions is actually trapped in body from the past unexpressed emotions (unsaid)and feelings are actually these we need to be attuned to.

I am no master of this as yet but learning to accept my emotions at any given moment is my new motto.

If you wanna learn more book a discovery call and we see if coaching is a fit for you.

PS :the sun always shines after the storm

Lots of love…

Holding on to sadness,suffering has been my core identity for so long. Deep grieving comes to me to even think of the idea to allow pleasure in.

How can I allow pleasure into my life? Can I even imagine what I will be? Can I allow sadness with pleasure?

So why does it feel so overwhelming to me? My soul says yes this is your birthright and a part of me just want to stay in my comfort zone.(my victim story).

As I learned compassion and love towards myself on my journey to self.

I will go as fast as the slowest part of me. Deep within I have pussy shouting yes yes yes..Welcome home!

So welcoming pleasure!!! Yes yes yes

Ladies your clitoris has 8000 nerve endings made only for pleasure. Its beautiful and apart of us.

I see it everyday in my relationship with my boy. The patterns I learned him from my mindset years back. I cant be blaming him because I learned him that. (Interesting fact we learn most of brain pathways between age 0 to 18 months.) Do I go into a blaming and what I could have done differently ? Nope that isn’t empowering at all.

I just keep the space for him to express and the superpower we all have within us. Yes reach for that tool it is just a matter of choice to use it. LOVE.

Love does heal the past and the future and is there at any moment of any time. Follow the thread of love not what used to be and could have been.